My Journey Through Trauma, PTSD While Living With FASD

 So, after summer break when grade 8 was done I went into grade 9, a little bit nervous as the environment was new and I didn't know if I was ready for high school, so many professionals said I was not ready and wanted to put me in a special needs school. I had wasted 5 years being scared running the halls, hiding in coats, tearing apart class rooms etc. It's funny how I don't remember hiding in coats but I've been told I had done that on many occasions. Strange but before I ran the halls I had been a good student I won't say I didn't need extra help, I did, I was really far behind my class when I was adopted. People seemed to take my silliness and impulsiveness in stride and helped me to become a good student. That all stopped when my brothers abuse in school became too much for me to handle and watch it day after day, eventually I could not take it anymore.  As I walked into my high school (St. Mary's Catholic High School) I felt welcome and I'll tell ...

 It's been a while,  my apologies for not writing in so long, yet I am not sure I should be apologizing for trying to get my life together. I have moved onto a new school, high school which is kind of nice as I do not need to walk the halls of my old school that has so many bad memories. My old school staff tried to help me cope but they were unable to understand what was wrong. Of course for them to understand that they would need to ask some hard questions like why did my brother run the halls for a year hiding from staff he saw again and again but admitted they were not there, try PTSD people, your school strategies were abusive and frightening. Yet those school staff not there were real for him and he was terrified, hiding from the staff who hurt him. In my case, I like to say there was a little girl screaming in my head as terrified as my brother seeing what was being done to him but both of us unable to express our fears.  Of course for the school to understand that...

  Hello, if you're wondering what FASD is I will try to explain in regular words it stands for Fetal  A lcohol Spectrum Disorder, it all starts when you're in the womb and the mother drinks. No amount of alcohol is safe for the baby when you are pregnant. My birth mother drank while pregnant leaving me and my brother with a life long disability. FASD affects everyone differently as you will not be neurotypical as when the baby's brain is developing in the womb your brain will be wired differently than the general population. FASD is easiest to think of as brain damage. It can leave you with difficulty with daily living, self-regulation, executive functioning, learning disabilities and so much more. There is still a lot of misunderstanding around FASD not a lot of people understand when I am having trouble coping it will show as poor behaviour. Honest, I am not being bad I am just showing you in the only way I know how I am unable to cope.  Many people wanna help us but th...

 Hi, if your here likely I don't need to tell you what living with PTSD is like, for me living with PTSD fills my life with highs and lows, flashbacks, fear, depression and my ever-present anxiety. One of the things I find the hardest is the lack of understanding by the general society. I am just a kid and when things became too much for me  I usually ran out of class 30 times or more a day no one understood I was screaming inside for help. People say they understand but do they really, even those well-paid professionals and their kind words their experience comes from a book, not reality, honestly they don't get it. This is really true when it comes to the school system, do those well-meaning amateurs really think snapping my fingers together 4 times and counting is going to help, and don't get me started on the zones of regulation seriously that just makes me more upset. Then if anyone thinks screaming at me to sit down, threatening to suspend me or grabbing me helps, thi...

I dedicate this blog to all the people who have experienced trauma or adversity in there life Then to those people who abused us, traumatized us and more I/we survivors say you will not ruin my life, I/we are stronger then you will ever be I/we will live a good and full life no matter what you did to us. I will post as I can but as I choose to live my life to the fullest I will put down my thoughts as I have time.