Living through PTSD

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 Hi, if your here likely I don't need to tell you what living with PTSD is like, for me living with PTSD fills my life with highs and lows, flashbacks, fear, depression and my ever-present anxiety. One of the things I find the hardest is the lack of understanding by the general society. I am just a kid and when things became too much for me  I usually ran out of class 30 times or more a day no one understood I was screaming inside for help. People say they understand but do they really, even those well-paid professionals and their kind words their experience comes from a book, not reality, honestly they don't get it. This is really true when it comes to the school system, do those well-meaning amateurs really think snapping my fingers together 4 times and counting is going to help, and don't get me started on the zones of regulation seriously that just makes me more upset. Then if anyone thinks screaming at me to sit down, threatening to suspend me or grabbing me helps, think again, no one touches me without permission. That's the tricky part about PTSD one day I need a hug the next day you touch me and my skin is on fire, it is best you don't touch me; people need to learn to ask if touch is ok.

We, survivors, are lucky we have a couple people that understand us, they are just very hard to find if you find one hold on to them because you will need them to keep you from getting to the point that you are feeling you can't go on. To be honest, I have found the best help comes from those who have lived with trauma in their lives, somehow we can pick each other out from a crowd for support. That is perhaps what I am trying to do here find a way we can help ourselves by sharing our experiences. We survivors can also tell when there is danger around because we have lived it.

In conclusion, everybody that has a disability or is a survivor and is treated differently that shouldn't be acceptable because people that aren't like us think they are in a throne or something. So my message to you is to ignore them find people that you can open up to and trust and live your life to the fullest.

-Shelby 

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