PTSD In School A Cry For Help

 PTSD, oh suck it up princess, you're just faking it, you just want attention, you just want out of class, wonder how many times I heard those damaging words when what I really needed was a hug or an understanding shoulder to cry on. Imagine sitting in a classroom, a snowplow drives by with flashing lights, and suddenly you are seeing your birth mother being beaten, a drug deal gone wrong, your being taken from your home by police and Children's Aid. It is really hard to say what those flashing lights might bring back as memories or just a deep fear that I do not understand but I am terrified and at that moment and just can't cope. A lot of this was brought on by the school calling Children's Aid (CAS) after all it seems they needed an excuse why my brother acted out so much and they needed someone to blame but themselves. The moment I was interviewed I fell apart my promise of a forever home was gone. When you are waiting to be adopted your promise is someday, you will have a forever home and no longer be moved from foster home to foster home. After this I was always afraid I could be taken away, no one at the school understood this. Too bad as it is estimated as many 50 % of kids adopted or in care of CAS will have FASD and more likely suffer from trauma and be misunderstood. Yet there was never any real help for me in elementary school as kids we are left on our own without help, going to high school was such a difference.

The difference now in high school is I have a mental health and addictions worker, student support workers, a safe spot to go to do my work in the resource room, and a whole bunch of people to support me. But more important is that all those resources are there to support my teachers that they understand I am not faking it or a bad kid but a kid who is having trouble coping. To all the supports in high school I say thank you for being there for me, thank you for saying you understand, thank you for being that safe person I can go to talk to and to explain and advocate for myself.  

Yet to the school board I say WTH, where are those supports for the kids in elementary school, why as kids do we have to suffer in silence or be labeled as having a behavioral problem when inside we are screaming for help. Then the poor teachers, the staff, the principals what real support do they get to help kids like me succeed. You can't blame them if they get tired and worn out or frustrated, but sorry people you are going to have to do better than wiggle toes, zones of regulation, breathing, or threatening to call the police. Really threatening to call the police is really dumb considering my history, you took me from having a hard time coping to being out of control. Something has to change in the education system, not sure what or how, but to those who can get the courage to speak up for themselves go for it, I did and a lot of people finally came forward to help, and thank you to all of you.