FASD In School What My Day Looks Like, The need for Ontario Bill 172

 So, basically, I have no motivation at all when I get up in the morning and people with this spectrum disorder FASD often have more trouble getting up in the morning as they are more tired and take longer to regulate than others. We often have trouble with our sleep, I do not understand why yet, but I will accept my sleep isn't very good even if I sleep for hours.  My brother has been waiting for well over 3 years for a sleep study, he can go from being wide awake to being exhausted with dark circles under his eyes in very little time when using his brain to do school work, which has confused people for years.  I seem to not do that anymore, but I will slur my words when I'm tired like I'm having a stroke, or I'll just fall asleep because of how worn out I am trying to do my school work.  When I get home from school I normally fall asleep for a few hours I'm so exhausted from trying to focus, do my work, and just hold it together when I am overwhelmed that I don't have a meltdown.  When I try to do my school work I find I can not listen, take notes and learn at the same time, I can become very confused in class. I used to run out of class because I would become so frustrated and upset "as the professionals would say" blue zone and yellow zone, well bite me, "really people the zones of regulation" I'm way past that being effective. Then don't you dare tell me to breathe; I am screaming inside and deep breaths are not going to help. Actually, when I am upset and you tell me to breathe good chance you could get punched, this is a trigger for me, I know to warn people now don't tell me to breathe and why. I would try and tell school staff, other people, what's wrong, I would ask for extra help, I would try to explain I do not understand, but my teachers would become very frustrated with me.  At times, I would get sent down to the office or even sent home for "misbehaving" because I tried to explain and they just wouldn't get it, I would be told "Oh your just not trying, or if you listened you would get it", that really hurt.

See this is where Ontario Bill 172 comes in, there needs to be more awareness for spectrum disorders (FASD, etc.) kids, teens, and adults we can't live like this anymore, it's frustrating and unfair other people can live their life the way they want to. Yet when spectrum-affected people try to do what other people do we get told we are not good enough or we are not trying, are misfits and freaks, are mistakes or this and that it, this literally needs to stop ( including other disabilities as well).  We are all humans, we all make mistakes, but come on people we are all different than each other, unique in our own way, we all deserve to be supported and do our best and have the best life we can. Yet everyone could be having different problems in our lives and no one should judge because next week your life could fall apart,  just sometimes my problems can be more intense than others due to my FASD  but still, no one is perfect.  

People need to stop judging other people it ain't fair. The judging and stupid looks are what bothers me the most, my FASD I can live with, but constantly being judged is heartbreaking.  I don't act like I do because I want to, it is often because I am misunderstood and you are not hearing me. That's where Ontario Bill 172 comes in, I should not be angry at school staff for not understanding me, they need to be educated on what my disability FASD really is and how to support me. That includes students as well, they need to understand what FASD is, why I get accommodations, need extra help that FASD is completely preventable, that you can not drink and be pregnant no amount of alcohol is safe for the baby. Yet this is not a high school issue this should be taught in elementary school so kids understand their classmate who is having problems is not a freak but someone who is struggling and needs a friend, not name-calling, this is true of all disabilities.

So the other day I went up to my Vice Principal and asked if there could be more spectrum (FASD) training and awareness at my school as it was September, FASD awareness month and she said they already had training. They? who is they, I don't see much awareness about FASD around the school.  Come on we have a presentation at school every year called Rowan's Law which is about brain injury/concussion, and that awareness is so important. But excuse me a spectrum disorder like FASD  is a brain injury/damage while in the mother's womb and I will live with this forever. Well, I see no damn awareness about FASD, kids like me are suffering and for no reason, other than people do not understand and need to be educated by things like Bill 172. Then we need more education around FASD for everyone so we can make sure no child is to be born with a completely preventable brain injury. That would have to include better mental health supports around what leads people to alcohol,  drugs, and addictions to cope.  Mind you I look at my life sometimes and I get it, the temptation to have a hit of anything to feel better can be really strong and that scares me for my future if I find I can't cope. That's where I have such hope for Bill 172 passing, it won't help me but it may help my brother a bit and all the kids in school who are yet to come along affected by FASD.